So retain it shorter.
And sweet. Be ruthless – eliminate every little thing that’s pointless. Offer a perception of scale. (Recall: It was a Major Poor Wolf that threatened the Three Small Pigs. ) Use dollars, complexity, difficulty, sophistication, size, acreage, value to the client’s organization or its field, and so on. Try out to use the client’s title, specially if you’re writing about Google or George Clooney or any other client with cachet. Interestingly, college students wanting at a concern from just one viewpoint are unable to impress the examination graders.
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